So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
