walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Someone shattered a urinal.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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