Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
