before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize