He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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