i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
