There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
