I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize