he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
