Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
The power of my boobs compel you
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
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