giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
