When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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