i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
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