There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
