Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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