there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I think I died a long time ago.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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