Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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