someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
