saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
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