I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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