Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize