so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
