morning after pill = breakfast in bed
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
