I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
