my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
