So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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