You're a womanizer and a bitch.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
im holly from the hills drunk
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
