just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I said "one day" and that day is not today
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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