I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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