i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
if only i could text you this smell
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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