Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
