normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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