Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Floor bacon is actually really good
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
