She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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