BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Damn victory sex feels great
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
