There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
