For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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