so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize