remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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