Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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