I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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