This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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