it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
