Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
