Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
