How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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