Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
