38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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