Don't you send me to vm
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize