i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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