Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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