I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
