Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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