Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
if only i could text you this smell
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
