I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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