I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize