Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
