this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
