found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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