That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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