Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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