why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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