party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
