Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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