guys are only as good as the porn they watch
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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