i don't plan on having that self control this summer
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
